How it works
In this section I am going to describe in more detail how the practice works now I have introduced the important skills.
There are three activities in this practice:
- Pelvic floor exercises.
- Sensation & touch association.
- The rewards.
The pelvic floor exercises allow you to explore and discover the muscles and nerves that are responsible for the sensations that make up an orgasm. Then through touch, breath and imagination you can start to form new connections between touch and sensation. The third stage is being able to enjoy an entirely new pathway to intense sensations of orgasm.
Choosing the most sensitive location you can. The first step is to choose a really sensitive place on your body, probably around your genitals but you might choose another erogenous zone.
I am going to quote a little from GROK at this point because it turns out there are some specific nerve endings that I stumbled on accidentally that should be particularly good for this kind of activity and they are the Krause end-bulbs.
GROK says that they “respond especially strongly to light touch” and are “responsible for the highly pleasurable, ‘tingly,’ ‘electric,’ or fluttery’ sensations” and are most concentrated in the following three places:
- The male foreskin (especially the ridged band just behind the tip and the frenulum of the foreskin)
- The male penile frenulum
- The female clitoral frenulum (and the ridged band–like structures in the clitoral hood and inner labia)
Experimentally I determined the very tip of my foreskin when it goes from being on the outside to turning back in on itself was the most sensitive spot and that was confirmed by GROK. I did start with the area of at the base of the penis where a woman’s clitoris would be, before I worked out the foreskin was more sensitive.
Women’s bodies are more varied, so you’ll need to experiment to find what works for you. The clitoral frenulum seems to be underneath the clitoral glans and is a thin layer of skin that extends from there down each side heading towards the vagina.
The pudendal nerve seems to be quite important and these areas are all served by it.
Where and when to practice.
I find in bed, in the dark with no other distractions is best. This needs the same sorts of conditions other meditations would, quiet, comfortable, distraction-free. There is no need for any level of conventional arousal and in fact that can work against you for quite a long time.
The practice itself.
Having settled on a sensitive spot the exercise is to touch that spot with the tiniest possible touch, sometimes none at all, dragging your fingerprint over a pinhead-sized area is the level we are looking for. You are going to have to work out what works well for you, but don’t forget less is more with this practice. For example, I find that touching through the cloth of my underwear provides diffuse stimulation that works really well. I mentioned earlier the tip of my foreskin and the base of the penis were my favourite spots. I put my thumb on the latter spot and my index finger on the foreskin spot through my underwear.
Start with the Ujjayi breath this will help to quieten your mind and get you into the head space for the activity. In the beginning you’re seeking the faintest hint of orgasmic sensation from the slightest touch.
You may also find that as well as the breath that you might slightly tense or even just imagine the pelvic floor muscles you have been working with which might make it more interesting.
This may take weeks of practice.
In this meditative state being aware of the tiniest sensations and imagining them larger during the outbound Ujjayi breath is where we train the body and mind through neuroplasticity to invoke the sensations of orgasm from the slight touch.
Once you do have a pin-prick of something good you start to know what you need to imagine to slowly build the binding between that touch and that sensation. If you are male, part of the reason for such a tiny level of touch is to keep this stimulation lower than would cause erection.
The muscles we have recruited into conscious influence with the pelvic floor exercises need room to dance on their own and give you all their intense pleasure sensations. Being engorged seems to make this difficult for them. While providing the minimal stimulation it’s also important not to rest your hand on your body anywhere else. This causes a distraction. The aim is total awareness on only the sensation caused by the most sensitive spot by the tiniest touch possible.
For men it’s also important to actively resist erection, I found making sure I was taking no notice of it and just concentrating on the touch helped. You can stop the touch for a while and just stick with the breathing until it gets bored and subsides, then continue with the touch. Initially erection seems to swamp out the tiny responses to stimulation we are looking for. This becomes less of an issue as you slowly train for a stronger response and as your body learns that erection is not required for this activity.